The Postman is NOT Invited to My Wedding

So I ran up to the post office on my lunch hour today.  I was feeling really smart because I had the foresight to wait until 2pm, and the place was practically empty.  Keep in mind we’re not dealing with the one-man counter, Amish selling pies outside, pony express Cornfield, OH post office anymore.  I’ve waited 40 minutes for a book of stamps at this office once, and experienced a mock-up United Nations meeting in the process.  Trips to the Post office and DMV in Cali are torturous affairs, and should be avoided at all costs.  That’s a fact.  I’d tell you to take it to the bank, but the wait there might be just as bad.

I busied myself on Facebook for a few minutes before my number was called.  I politely asked for 110 postcard stamps, and after she set them down, VERY politely asked for different ones.

“It’s all we have”

I thought about explaining the wedding atrocity that would be these stamps on my Save The Dates.  I carefully planned my words, reconsidered the argument, and somehow managed to swipe my card rather than screaming :

‘Don’t you understand?  First impressions mean everything!  The sole purpose of these postcards is to set the tone of our wedding and make everybody want to come!  MY WEDDING WILL BE RUINED AND A FAILURE AND THE USPS WILL BE COMPLETELY TO BLAME AND AREN’T YOU GOING OUT OF BUSINESS ANYWAYS??’

Aferall, I am a rational adult and knew shouting about the importance of postage on my wedding stationery wouldn’t make custom matching stamps appear on the counter.  Unless I bought the kit for $24.99 and made them myself, and then paid double to have them printed.  (…thought about it)

Instead, this is what I left with :

USPS is not bride-friendly

Those are polar bears.  Freaking Polar Bears.  Nothing screams “Mark your calendars, we’re getting married next July!” like white, fuzzy, arctic bears.  Right?  And the blue WON’T totally clash with the yellow, right?  And the United States Postal Service realizes that I’m getting married and it’s THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT FROM NOW UNTIL JULY 2011

Right???

…Tell me I’m right.