How To Keep Your Mother Entertained For 1.5 Weeks While She Visits and You Have to Work

Continuing on with the best-selling* and blogosphereacclaimed* “How To” series from yours truly.  If you missed the previous installments on

How To Fuel For a Marathon With Maximum Belch-Reflex


How To Run a Half Marathon After Training Like Shit and Really Not Enjoy It Despite Being In One of The Coolest Cities in America


How To Dress Like an Outdated, Unfabulous, and Cheap Mess For Your 5 Year “Date-iversary”

you should probably get on that.  Life-altering advice there.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My mom is a fairly simple and easy-to-please person.  Give her an oven for baking and a couple dog leashes (dogs themselves not necessarily required) and she could entertain herself for hours/days/weeks.  And she did, because that’s about all I left her with.

( Nominations for daughter of the year can be sent to onceuponalime<at>  Please include “you are a terrible human being and sorry excuse of a host and/or daughter” in the subject line. )

No but really, we had fun.  I mean she left Ohio’s snow, wind, and single-digit temps for a couple afternoons by the pool, Bud Lights at lunch, and hours of fun at the dog park with my unsocial furballs.  How could you complain?  (Minus the whole I-was-gone-at-work-all-day-thing)

I did reign in my inner corporate rebel and left the office a couple days so we could have some quality mother/daughter time.  And that day that I left at 7:30am and didn’t get home until 10pm?  B pinch-hit for me and took her to Johnny Rockets and a movie.  (I know, he’s a keeper.)

Here are a few highlights, including our consolation prize for getting snubbed at the Ellen Show (WB Studio Tram Tour) :

If you’d like to send your mother, MIL, or any other family member/person of interest for a vacation full of sitting in my apartment alone with my dogs and maybe walking across the street for dinner once or twice, contact me, I’ll send you pricing info.  A mini-vacay with Sarah S-T-B would make a great stocking stuffer.  Plus, if you haven’t heard, Luxury All-Inclusive Vacations are SOOOO last year.

Sarah Soon-To-Be


2 thoughts on “How To Keep Your Mother Entertained For 1.5 Weeks While She Visits and You Have to Work

  1. Pingback: L & MT : Day#nobodyremembersanymore « Once Upon a (L)ime


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