20 Miler Chased With a Little Snowboarding

I am a serious loose cannon today.  (In no reference at all to Jersey Shore,) I’m a pulled-pinned grenade just ready to blow at any second, combined with a machine gun because those explosions seem to come every 12 seconds or so.  Can I hire somebody to walk around with me all day and keep my bitch in check?

Somebody should probably send B something nice for putting up with me.

Hopefully a 20 miler tomorrow followed by a big group outting at the slopes will knock me outta this jerk-funk.

BTW any tips for a first-time snowboarder?  More specifically, with dead legs and no desire to do anything but eat carbs and consume liquid calories???

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After I hit publish on the way-to-serious-for-OUa(L) discipline post Tuesday I went out for my scheduled run.  And I ran FAST.

I don’t know why  –  The outpouring of honesty I usually keep bottled inside?  The lunchtime run I took earlier that my legs were still firing from?  The marshmallows dipped in cream cheese frosting?

The realization that I was half way through the 5 Weeks 2 Marathon challenge?  Whatever got into me, I wish it’d gotten into Garmin too.  He died at mile 2.87 of 5.

I didn’t even hear the “Low Battery” beep.  I presume it’s because I was running somewhere around the sound barrier, but I didn’t pay a lot of attention in science class.  Maybe my iPod was too loud.

Anywho, despite coming 6 inches and a side step away from becoming road kill –  people seriously need to learn to look BOTH ways and not be an f’ing moron in their runner-killer vehicles of weaponry  – oh and the lovely couple walking TOWARDS me that moved to MY SIDE of the sidewalk rather than the opposite to get out of my ass-hauling way… despite that, it was one of those awesome “WHERE THE F DID THAT COME FROM!?” runs.

Seriously though, if Garmin hadn’t died and I had photographic evidence of a 5 miler with a sub 7:30 avg pace, you can bet your last Gu I’d’ve blown that bad boy up poster size and framed it in the living room.

Send good 20-miler wishes.  I have faith the holy grail I finally stumbled upon (mint choc Gu) and the ‘this-is-the-weather-I-pay-for’ forecast will carry me through.

And worrying whether or not Chico really does need checked for cataracts…

Sarah Soon-To-Be


11 thoughts on “20 Miler Chased With a Little Snowboarding

  1. I love runs that surprise you like that. My fave.

    I was in bitch mode the last 2 days. Our maintenance mad said “Someone rode in on the bitch bus” when I arrived yesterday. Real nice.

    Best of luck on your 20 miler! How the hell are you going to snowboard after that??? Girl, you are C-RAZY!


  2. You are going snowboarding? So lucky! I’ve only done it a couple of times and the only tip I can think of is when you feel like you are about to fall that you should fall forward instead of falling backwards on your ass and using your hands to brace. I do that a lot which will lead to sore tail bone and wrist the next day. I have a strange fear of leaning my falls to the front. Hope your 20 miler went well today.


  3. Well, from what I understand, your ass will be in a world of hurt your first time snowboarding. Cheers to that.

    Maybe you should take some “Charlie Sheen” because his “conduct is bitchin’.” I seriously can’t get enough of his quotes – they crack me up.

    So, I have been almost his twice. The first time was in a crosswalk and I thought I made eye contact with the dude to cross, but he started inching forward when I was passing – I literally felt the heat of his truck grill on my body, that’s how close he got. The second time this chick was taking a right down in Solana Beach, and clearly was not using to stopping at the “T” (which is the law) and nearly took me out. Like, scared the living shit out of me.

    Hope your 20 miler is speedy today!


  4. I’m sure he doesn’t have cataracts. Those are just the run of the mill ghost orbs, a la the Ghost Whiperer. Just call up Jennifer Love Hewitt and she’ll handle up on ’em.


  5. you are snowboarding for the first time AFTER a 20 miler run? I knew you were crazy…I just didn’t know HOW crazy. Pictures of this weekend are required.



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