Deluxe Wash (with a side of shame)

Since I have guests coming into town this weekend, I got my car cleaned.

Since Orange County is the land of No Driveways with Hoses (ahem, or driveways at all) nor Self-Service Car Washes, I paid the dudes that camp out in our office parking lot on Tuesdays and Thursdays to do it.

(noted : Sheryl Crow was not in OC when she wrote, “The good people of the world are washing their cars on their lunch break”)

Like any self-respecting woman would, I tidied up the car before I employed somebody else to clean it.  Stuffed some protein bar wrappers in my purse, collected a few almost-empty water bottles, rolled up the yoga mat that doubles as my seat protector after super sweaty runs and threw it with the junk from the back seat (dog leash, softball mitt, flower pot) (yes really) in the trunk.

I was pretty embarrassed – in the way you are when your dentist can tell you haven’t been flossing – to be handing over such a bird-shitted, crumbs-in-the-seat-cracks, windexed-less piece of work to these guys.  I mean my poor Dodge was in a STATE.

So I really wasn’t surprised when I came down at the end of the day and they were frantically trying to finish up.  I tipped extra generously because I knew the labor required for this job vastly exceeded that of the standard Deluxe Wash.

As I drove away in my shiny, clean car (with all the random shit hidden in the trunk), something in the back seat caught my eye.

The detail guys apparently found a few belongings hidden under the seats.



I still haven’t found the courage to check if that sock is clean or not.  Oh and L?  Is that your earring?

Sarah Soon-To-Be


12 thoughts on “Deluxe Wash (with a side of shame)

  1. My brother came and visited me last summer and was disgusted how I had kept up with the car. When it was between my brother, my dad and myself, they were always really good about cleaning it. He asked, “Have you vacuumed in two years?” Sigh…Proudly, today I got a car wash from my students during a fundraiser :) $5? yes!


  2. YES THAT IS MY EARRING!!! OMG how long has it been in there?! Luckily I still have the other… I couldn’t part with it because they’re my favorite pair! :) Yesssss!


  3. Trust me, if you think your car was bad; you wouldn’t even want to imagine the state mine is in. Considering we always drive T’s truck everywhere, mine is always full of stuff (I wouldn’t know what stuff because I never actually clean it) but a bunch of stuff!


  4. I do the same thing. My dad forced me to go to the carwash at the peak of marathon training so I had to clean out my gatorade graveyard, empty gu wrappers, and random articles of clothing before I even rolled up there. And I definitely hide everything in the trunk too but I have an SUV so they opened it up to clean back there. Slightly embarrassing.

    Now I try to dump everything in the trash at the gas station when I fill up.


  5. If it’s any consolation, one day (I won’t say if drinking was included or not, I’ll let you be the judge of that) my best friend and I found fox head hats (it’s exactly like it sounds.. a hat that has fox ears and is furry) and bought them and sported them at the bar… consequently the hat is STILL in the backseat of my truck. which is always an awkward conversation started when someone gets in and wants to know what it is and why I have it at 24 when it clearly is something someone 13 would buy…


  6. I love the random sock and earring. My car needs cleaned out real bad and I am honestly too lazy to do it and the hoses at the self serve place never do the trick. Hopefully, taking it somewhere to get cleaned after the marathon


  7. Oh man, I love that Sheryl Crow reference. Not that I would wash my own car but I have to agree that it would be nice to have a driveway and a hose.

    I do the same thing when I take my car in for a wash. It’s the same thing people do when they hire a house cleaner to come bi-monthly to clean their one bedroom…haha. It’s just a pre-cleaning ritual because let’s face it, it would be really embarrassing if said house cleaner happened to come upon something private. Know what I mean? You know!


  8. There are no words for the disaster that my car is in right now. Luckily I am forcing my roommate, (who uses it and was responsible for the mess,) to clean it this weekend. I’m talking, no one can sit in the backseat. It’s ridiculous.

    For some reason I’m cracking up over the earring conversation :)



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