Excused From Beauty Duty

I don’t put a lot of effort into my appearance.

Shocking revalation.  I know y’all thought I was some prim & proper beauty queen



I grew up in sweats & ponytails and just never kicked the habit.  We have a “relaxed” dress code at work and I don’t care if the three other people in the office see me sans makeup/brushed-hair/clothes-that-match.

So when I actually do go through the trouble of making myself presentable, it’s a big deal.  If I put brain power into matching shoes to bag and exhaust my arm muscles blow drying my hair, I’m gonna get the most out of it.

via pinterest, obvs

The point of all this is : I painted my nails this weekend.

That’s it.  The end.

Just kidding.  So I took the time to base, polish, top coat… sat patiently while it dried… blah blah blah.

It looked great!  Loved it.

Not twenty-freaking-four hours later, a corner chips.  Jerk.

And then it catches inside my pocket, and half the polish lifts up.  I give it a tug and the whole nail-shaped polish-chunk comes clean off the nail.

So naturally while I sat in my car at the laundromat (beach living isn’t always so glamorous), I went ahead and just ripped the rest of that shit right off.

manmaniWho needs nail polish remover?

I used OPI’s “Nail Envy” base coat, Essie base color, a Forever21 glitter coat, and Revlon top coat.  Swear it wasn’t this Tinkerbell peel-off polish :

Tinkerbell-Makeup(Tell me you remember that so I don’t feel super old for the second time this week.)

Anyways this has happened the last as-many-as-I-can-remember times, so I can say with about 99% certainty it’s either user error or my body repelling anything girly I try to do to it.

Which, whatever.  At least I don’t have to worry about ever really being a beauty queen.


* * * Anybody else?  Am I the only one with super jank nails that don’t want to be colorful and turn expensive polish into a peel-and-stick game?

Sarah OUaL


48 thoughts on “Excused From Beauty Duty

  1. You are not alone. Nail polish lasts exactly 24.7 seconds on my fingernails. Blah! That’s why I don’t pay for mani’s. And P.S. Love Tinkerbell!!!


  2. My nail polish ALWAYS peels off within a day or two. It’s why I stopped painting my nails. Toenail polish just doesn’t withstand the pounding of all the miles. So no, you are not alone.

    One day I will get a real grown up job where I have to blow dry my hair and do my make up every morning. It will be sad. ;)


  3. My nailpolish peels off right away too! I have been told it is from having “oily nail beds” – sweet. One thing that could help (if you ever feel the need to paint them again!) is to buff your nails right before you put the polish on. Basically, lightly scratching the surface of your nails right before you polish. Oh, and skip the base coat and go straight to the color (top coat is ok at the end). Hopefully that will increase the life of any future manicure.. ;-)


  4. I think what you might need is a better topcoat. I’ve not tried Revlon’s so I can’t say for sure, but I use Seche Vite’s topcoat and it has always made my polish last a good 4-5 days at least.


  5. I totally remember Tinkerbell nail polish – mine had teeth marks all over the lid/applicator because it would NEVER come unscrewed! Yeah, I was a pretty, pretty princess FOR SURE! :)


  6. I have issues with the glitter polish, too. I love the way it looks, but it tends to come off in hunks. I can get non-glitter polishes to stay on a little longer, but it’s still not really worth my time most of the time.


  7. You are not alone. I complained to a manicurist one time about it and she said that it’s because my nails are too smooth. She said it’s a good thing in that it’s a sign of healthy nails, and that if I wanted it to stick i should rough up the nail a little before painting. Like with the first step of a buffing square. I say screw it and just buff my nails all shiny and don’t worry about them ever chipping!


  8. Tinkerbell nail polish and lipstick!! I can still taste that nasty, nasty lipstick. And no, you’re not the only one – I hardly ever wear nail polish because that shit chips in .5 seconds. I’m envious of girls with pretty nails. Pretty nails and long hair. Two things I don’t/won’t ever have.


  9. My experience has been if I put it on too thick that happens. Try a thinner coat. Or maybe one coat of color instead of two.

    My favorite bottom/top coat is Sally Hansen. I think it’s called like “Clear as Nails.” It’s super cheap but really good quality.


  10. I’m terrible when it comes to painting my nails. No matter how long I sit and wait for them to dry, they always chip within the first few hours. It has to be a really big occasion for me to paint my nails now!


  11. I love polished nails so mine are almost always painted. I’m kind of a polish snob and only wear OPI. Skip the base coat and use “out the door” as the top coat (found at sally beauty supply). The top coat makes it dry super fast! Hope this helps!


  12. I stopped even bothering painting my nails cause they ALWAYS chipped. I have gel nails now that are hard as a rock, stay lovely and ALWAYS look so clean, it’s great. I will admit though the only reason I do that is because a friend of mine, who lives across the street, does them for me … for free .. I’m way to cheap to pay for it lol!!


  13. Tell me about it! Deciding to paint my nails is a whole process. I have to make sure everything I’m going to do for the night is done that way I know I’m not going to have to use my hands anymore, because just when you think they’re dry – they’re not! So if I can’t get AT LEAST a full week out of my nails without them chipping, I am totally perturbed!

    P.S. Just recently found your blog when SR blogged about you. Love it!


  14. I never, ever get mani’s or bother with my fingernails. Well, when they get so long they start poking holes in my contacts when I try to take them out, yeah I’ll cut those suckers off – but they grow too damn fast AND polish peels off instantly too. UGH. I didn’t even bother for the wedding. Everyone was horrified. Whatev. Plus when I did get mani’s they butcher my cuticles and they start peeling up to my knuckles…it’s like a horror movie going on right on my hands. Blood everywhere.

    But no, you aren’t old. You’re an 80’s baby. Tinkerbell rocks.


  15. I totally remember the Tinkerbell nail polish!! And I agree – getting my nails polished only lasts for a day or two before something happens. And that’s only if I waited long enough for the polish to dry before doing stuff – usually I don’t and I end up with smudges and patterns embedded in my nails.


  16. My nails always look awful. If I do them myself I usually get nail polish all over my fingers and am too lazy to fix it..and I usually end up painting my cuticles. When I get them done they are lucky to last 24 hours without me chipping them. However, I just got shellac’d or whatever you want to call it and it has lasted 2 weeks!!!!! They look perfect…minus the fact that they are growing out but still 2 weeks without chipping is a miracle!


  17. I love nail polish, and I am a rock climber, and so my life is an endless cycle of “ooh pretty” … “maybe I’ll just fix that one chip” … “I can’t believe this is so ugly already” … “time to spend 30 minutes with a bottle of acetone and scrape this crap off me.” This is how I went to a client meeting last week with blue-stained hands because the polish somehow dripped all over me as I was removing it. Klassy.

    I totally had Tinkerbell makeup. My favorite brush-on-peel-off was orange.


  18. I did my nails two Saturdays ago. They started chipping on Sunday. Right now I have the remnants of the nail polish on four nails on my right hand, none on my left. I guess I should take the 5 minutes tonight to actually remove what is left. And put on a new shade.


  19. I hate having nail polish on my finger nails (toe nails is ok) because it never lasts. The only time I had nail polish on was for my engagement picture and for my wedding. 2 times in my whole entire life.

    At least you tried right? Now you know it just isn’t worth it.

    Love the pics


  20. Pingback: You Can’t Make Me. « Once Upon a (L)ime

  21. I have the same issue a lot when I paint my nails my best advice is this [and I am a former manicurist]… before you polish, make sure to wipe your nails clean w/ polish remover or rubbing alcohol, this gets the natural oils off your nails to give you a clean base for the base coat to stick to.

    Go to Sally’s Beauty Supply and get the following:
    Base coat = BONDER by Orly
    Top Coat = Seche Vite
    [the top coat is thick, and dries really fast and helps the manicure last for days! AND I think I’ve seen it at Target as well if you don’t have a Sally’s]

    I would suggest ditching the Revlon, that top coat has never stayed on for me.

    When I did nails I swore by these two products and still use them today. I am rough on my hands and do dishes by hand at home a lot when the washer gets too full so often times my manicure might only last 3 days maybe 5 max! But it’s till better than 24 hours right?

    I’ve also heard GREAT things about Essies “No Chips Ahead” topcoat too I have yet to test it! But I really want to – I’ll keep you posted!!!

    I hope I didn’t sound nail snobby in this – I have only started to recently take time to paint my nails – I was trying to gear them up for the wedding. I also started getting SHELLAC Manicures too. They take little to no time, they are dry when you are done and they last for 2 weeks no chipping. Only down side is you have to soak them off each time you want a new color w/ acetone remover either at the salon or at home – if you try to pick it off it will damage your nails so it’s best to play it safe and let them remove them. I got this done the MONDAY before my wedding and it lasted well through the honeymoon the only reason I soaked it off is because my nails had grown so much.

    THE END [wow that was a book!]



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