How NOT to Cure a #RUNBONER

I can’t promise this will be the last you hear/see our ridiculously EPIC (I’ve adopted the word solely for OlyTrials-related discussions) weekend, but it will be for a little while. Only because I’m out of new pictures.

Really not so sorry, but I felt compelled to give a disclaimer anyways.

So without further adieu, here is the collective advice for how to NOT treat your raging #runboner.  Unless you want to turn this into a Cialis commercial or something.  In which case I really hope I don’t need to consult a doctor – 5 days and going strong…

1) Go for a post-trials run w your Sweaty Cheer Counterpart.  Even if it is 3 min/mile slower than the people you just watched run 7x  farther than you

2) Rehydrate. Obvs

Dear Nuun – We <3 you but you’re gonna have to run it by our agent if you want SweatyOUaL on your next ad campaign. Be in touch.

3) Attend a party hosted by your go-to Long Run shoe makers, who conveniently represent the #2 and #4 women finishers. Wear your cheer uniforms because how else will Desi and Amy recognize you??

Photo from Another Mother Runner’s (who’re awesome, btw) Facebook

3a) Meet said #2 finisher. Revel in her tininess and how happy she is to see you again. Wonder if her speed and awesomeness are contagious

3b) Creepy stare at your newfound girlcrush from across the room all night. Maybe a big bear hug from her #1 fans would ease the disappointment of missing the Olympics? Probably not, but good god she’s gorgeous IRL

3c) Consider the ‘Run Happy’ scarf and many Brooks Blue cocktails your dividend from the six pairs of Ghost 3’s you’ve purchased in the last year and a half

4) Grab Marathon Royalty on her way out of a reception and convince her to let you stand with your arm on her shoulders for 5 minutes while the ancient ladies you asked to operate your touchscreen camera try to figure out “if they took it or not”

Hey, JBS – sorry if you hate us

5) Deny suggestions of being “hired help.” Debate the parallels between cheer-for-pay and “other-things”-for-pay, and the credibility that comes with both

… Decide you’d like to be sponsored and sent to London anyway

6) Wash down all of the above with many a Mexican Martinis.and Champagne Cupcakes made with your favorite $3.99 bubbly libations

#andrecakes is easily the 3rd coolest hashtag to come out of the weekend

( #RUNBONER #RUNBONER #RUNBONER )

Sarah OUaL

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18 thoughts on “How NOT to Cure a #RUNBONER

  1. Desi is so tiny I can’t believe it! She looks so happy <3 I loved her profile in Runner's World.
    I actually managed to get tickets for the Olympics (men's marathon) when the ticket lottery was open a few months ago. (Tickets will go up on sale again in April) I'm super excited but I'm afraid I won't perpetuate your dressing up tradition! LOL

    Like

  2. SarahOUaL…
    I read a lot of running blogs – more than I would care to admit, and find yours by a decent distance the funniest. Thanks for keeping me laughing – keep it up. And best of luck with your #runboner.

    Like

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