Foolproof Ways for Relocating Friends

I have to ask for your patience while I find a replacement for my dear  They’re closing in April and my severe state of mourning is affecting my will to photo-edit to my proper potential. 



* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ways to Convince Your Ohio Friend/Coworker to Permanently Relocate to Your Spare Bedroom

(or some other residence of her own maybe if your husband isn’t cool with that)

1) Wine and dine her at the classiest establishments.  Develop a scary-obsessive love with your side dish and never stop talking about them :


2) Act like stumbling upon a red carpet is just like, totally no big deal. Get yelled at by security for walking real slow, iPhone out, shamelessly gawking at Drew Brees during his interview. Insist “they won’t notice!” if you walk back the opposite direction and do it again.

(be wrong)


3) Sit nosebleed, drink overpriced beer, eat most of the caramel corn you decided to share, leave early “to beat traffic” and miss the year’s best buzzer-beater finish.



4) Convince her “it’s just a little rain – California is totally overreacting” and go for a bike ride, based on the fact you’re both tough Ohioans that can handle slightly-less-than-ideal conditions…


Get stuck in a torrential downpour at the 7.5 mile turnaround. Head back into massive headwind. Get a flat tire.

Call neighbor boy for rescuing.

Spend all day thawing out and praying her shoes dry before she has to pack her suitcase tomorrow.


5) Plan a “surprise fun activity” that includes driving an hour to a secret backlot neighborhood, pulling many groin muscles, and an overzealous former circus performer wrapping you in silk.

Refuse to believe it was anything but the best time ever.

Tell her that she’ll “never do anything like it again!” and “at least it wasn’t raining!” to convince her so.


photo 1aphoto 2aphoto 3a

photo 4ab


I know what you’re thinking  (TWINSIES!)  but no, we didn’t plan our matchy outfits.

Check out this hilarious video of Jimmy Fallon taking a class by the same Cirque Style Fitness instructor we had.  I like to pretend our session was nearly as entertaining.

6)  Make it all right.


Vow to run an extra few miles this week.

The end.

Sarah OUaL

* unrelated, but possibly even more awesome : Aspaeris is having a sale – 50% off with code “cooleronline”  Sound familiar?  Yeah, it’s because they’re on board with your very own SoCal Ragnar team, So Much Cooler Online.

Visit their store to get the compression shorts we’ll all be running in.  If they’re gonna get my ass through 34 miles, I bet they’ve got some magic for you, too.


31 thoughts on “Foolproof Ways for Relocating Friends

  1. Ha ha! I totally thought of you when I got that email from Picnik! If you find something as good, be sure to share. I’m on the look out for a replacement now too!


  2. I was also quite sad that picnik is leaving – how else am I going to make my wrinkles go away? geesh. I did hear, and see, that they are moving to google+. Right now they don’t have ALL the same features, like, no wrinkle remover, but they do have some of the features. Also, google has a program called Picasa, which I use for my collage needs and various other editing things. It’s no Picnik, but it’ll get your collaging needs done.


  3. RIP Picnik, so sad they are shutting down, I love your editted photos.
    When I saw you tweet about that class I didn’ think it was actually that class! THat is awesome, you look like a natural


  4. I’d love to move there!! Haha. What a fun weekend. Having friends visit is the best!! I feel almost the same when friends from Minnesota & Iowa visit Denver. I definitely have to find a circus class for them next time!


  5. I try to comment on your posts all the time and for some reason at work it wont let me….Maybe thats a hint I shouldnt be blogging at work?!

    Anyways you are quite hilarious. I love reading how “real” you are….and it makes me feel way better about myself to run strictly because I drank an entire bottle of wine the night before…. And that you cuss as much as me…. I think we should real life friends….and yes I know that sounds super creepy!!!!!!! To bad I live in Texas!!

    Thanks for entertaining me and making me feel like I’m not the only one in the world who has shitty runs sometimes!!


  6. Pingback: When (co)Work(ers) Trump Training | Once Upon a (L)ime


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s