Foolproof Ways for Relocating Friends

I have to ask for your patience while I find a replacement for my dear Picnik.com.  They’re closing in April and my severe state of mourning is affecting my will to photo-edit to my proper potential. 

OUaL WILL NOT SURVIVE WITHOUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL EDITS AND COLLAGING, PICNIK!!!  UN-DO IT!  DON’T LEAVE ME!!!

/tear

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Ways to Convince Your Ohio Friend/Coworker to Permanently Relocate to Your Spare Bedroom

(or some other residence of her own maybe if your husband isn’t cool with that)

1) Wine and dine her at the classiest establishments.  Develop a scary-obsessive love with your side dish and never stop talking about them :

2) Act like stumbling upon a red carpet is just like, totally no big deal. Get yelled at by security for walking real slow, iPhone out, shamelessly gawking at Drew Brees during his interview. Insist “they won’t notice!” if you walk back the opposite direction and do it again.

(be wrong)

3) Sit nosebleed, drink overpriced beer, eat most of the caramel corn you decided to share, leave early “to beat traffic” and miss the year’s best buzzer-beater finish.

4) Convince her “it’s just a little rain – California is totally overreacting” and go for a bike ride, based on the fact you’re both tough Ohioans that can handle slightly-less-than-ideal conditions…

Get stuck in a torrential downpour at the 7.5 mile turnaround. Head back into massive headwind. Get a flat tire.

Call neighbor boy for rescuing.

Spend all day thawing out and praying her shoes dry before she has to pack her suitcase tomorrow.

5) Plan a “surprise fun activity” that includes driving an hour to a secret backlot neighborhood, pulling many groin muscles, and an overzealous former circus performer wrapping you in silk.

Refuse to believe it was anything but the best time ever.

Tell her that she’ll “never do anything like it again!” and “at least it wasn’t raining!” to convince her so.

I know what you’re thinking  (TWINSIES!)  but no, we didn’t plan our matchy outfits.

Check out this hilarious video of Jimmy Fallon taking a class by the same Cirque Style Fitness instructor we had.  I like to pretend our session was nearly as entertaining.

http://iheartjimmy.net/tag/cirque-school/

6)  Make it all right.

Vow to run an extra few miles this week.

The end.

Sarah OUaL

* unrelated, but possibly even more awesome : Aspaeris is having a sale – 50% off with code “cooleronline”  Sound familiar?  Yeah, it’s because they’re on board with your very own SoCal Ragnar team, So Much Cooler Online.

Visit their store to get the compression shorts we’ll all be running in.  If they’re gonna get my ass through 34 miles, I bet they’ve got some magic for you, too.