Before we get into the run-confessional, have you checked out the (waaay overdue) “Who is OUaL?” update? You should. If for no reason other than how to pronounce oual. “On Running” and all its sub-pages got a freshen up, too. Consider it my calorie-free, early Valentine’s present to you.
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Sometimes you go into a workout set up for failure.
can somebody come manage my 3pm sugar binges?
update : this is extreme. I eat plenty of junkfood and candy, but sugar right before a run is not my best move. don’t call the HLB police on me.
To say my excitement was lacking for 8 miles with hill repeats would be a sad understatement. But I laced up after work anyway and drove out to my “hilly” loop, where I sent out this whiney tweet looking for some motivation/kick in the pants.
if an emo temper tantrum falls in a parking lot and no one (other than twitter) is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Eventually I pulled my sorry ass out of the car, told myself to quit thinking and ‘just do it!’, and started running.
Gave myself a nice pat on the back, feeling all smug and proud of myself for rounding up the self-discipline of a 5 year old, and settled into my warm up. Less than three minutes later, IT hit.
The sudden, uncontrollable need to pee.
I tried convincing myself I was just imagining it, but with every jostling step my bladder screamed – no amount of kegel exercises were going to get me through this run.
To set the tone for the rest of the story, here’s an aerial shot of the general area I was in. An OC mecca of high-end shopping, swanky hotels, and golf course condos, all lined with 4-lane streets and massive parking lots.
Starting to panic, I realized I could cut through a few buildings and get to a 24 Hour Fitness. I slowed to a walk to avoid attracting extra attention – knocking over suited folks leaving work while sprinting through a parking lot for the john is probably assault or something – and focused on getting safely to the gym.
“You can get there! Just make sure to put your number in correct so you don’t have to stand at the desk any longer than…”
(photo courtesy of google maps because HELL NO I didn’t stop to whip out my camera during this crucial time)
It was that moment that I realized I was NOT going to make it, and my pretty new poppy Rogas were in serious danger.
What I wouldn’t have given to be on a quiet, back-country road squatting safely behind a bush, instead of sitting bare-assed on the edge of a parking lot curb, shorts pulled as high up as possible so the people walking out of the office building wouldn’t be blinded by a premature moon, pretending to tie my shoes and trying not to step in my own piss…
it’s funnier now than it was then…
Sprinting away from the scene of that crime (and trying to subtly check my shorts for evidence) made for a good distraction and fast warm up, at least.
- Good miles at the expense of dignity? <— debate.
Unfortunately my public urination/indecent exposure adrenaline rush wore off just at the base of the hill. I lapped Garmin to start the interval workout (training feature tutorial HERE) and headed up.
When it beeped at the end of the 3:00 interval, I just kept climbing. FUCK THESE HILL REPEATS. Up and up I went, tackling the back end of Spyglass, the hill that broke me last cycle; my chest burned and gasping for air as I clumsily lapped through the rest of the intervals my watch was telling me to run. It beeped for “cool down” just as I peaked, and slowly made my way down into what ended up being eight rolling miles and a really good head-clearing run.
Sometimes you have to go off-script. Be flexible I’m learning the importance of balancing discipline and knowing what your body/mind wants instead of forcing a workout just because.
(sometimes your body is saying it really wants a curb to pee on)
I’ll run those hill repeats someday. Until then, I’m posting a good 8 miler in my log and doing a load of laundry before the house starts smelling of stale urine.