Have Boobs, Will Test Your Sports Bras

NEWS FLASH : I HAVE BOOBS.

Pretty big boobs, actually. And my body fat is in the double digits. I am built more like a Labrador than a Greyhound, and nobody will ever ask me for the secrets to my abs (because they are invisible) or yell “EAT A CHEESEBURGER!” as I run by.

Which, you know, is fine, because the beauty of running is you can do it with whatever body you have, so long as it includes at least a leg or two.

I’m pretty confident in thinking there are more people reading this that fall in the “things-jiggle-when-I-run” camp with me than the “Shalane-do-you-need-a-body-double?” camp – and who play the online/catalogue shopping imagination game of “and what exactly will that look like on a normal, non-model body…?”

they let the real models show off the clothes so you’re not distracted by the normal people’s relatable beauty and Tyra-worthy poses, btw. insider scoop.

I don’t know if this “real-girl jiggle” is why Sally reached out to me about Oiselle’s new sports bras (available THIS FRIDAY!), but I’m going to guess it was and definitely NOT the creepy notes I kept sending threatening to move into HQ until I got my hands on them (the bras, not the birds).

Or maybe they saw my race pics and felt bad for what gravity was doing to my girls and wanted to help out.

Mission accepted, Oiselle. C-cup reporting for duty.

Speaking of C-cup, let’s set the stage here a little to give you an idea what kind of a job these bras had cut out for them…

the stats : above-average, but not as giant as all the midget OC runners make me seem. 5’8″, 143lbs, 34C.

in the Strappy, showing off my 6-pack

the current roster : those Nike Pros you can get for $12 at TJ Maxx (worn inside out to avoid seam chaffing), a few random C9 for Target compressioners, and a brief affair with Moving Comfort until I nearly dislocated a shoulder trying to clasp the back. Usually medium, sometimes small for extra-strength smooshing.

I knew Oiselle would have the colors, designs, and material nailed down – these are just automatics for their products – but I was pretty skeptical of the durability these skinny little runners were going to try and pass off as sports bras. I mean what do they know about under-boob chaffing, strap soreness, or double-bagging the light/moderate supporters? Am I really going to put the sake of my already prematurely sagging tatas in their A-cup hands??

(Sally, did you expect me to burn your team’s chests so extensively when you wrote me? No?)

Oiselle Does Boobs :The C-Cup Wear-Test

First up : the High 10

Good news is this is the least supportive of the line and I didn’t give myself any black eyes running in it, but I’d def recommend it for the small-to-medium crowd. I liked the scoopy vneck cut, simple-but-different back (x-straps instead of traditional racerback), and the overall fit was very comfortable, but want/need something more supportive.

The High 10 has lightly padded cups, but not like those crazy torpedo super shapers I’ve seen from other brands. Just enough pad to prevent unintentional headlighting and for flat-chesters to fake some cleav. I didn’t feel outrageous in it, but it was definitely more chest action than I was use to putting out there.

‘extra boobage!’ vs ‘do I need a PG-13 rating for this extra boobage…?’

I wore a medium which fit well, but if you’re between sizes I’d go down. The support was good but because of the padding I’d suggest this for A-B cups. Unless you’re on a manhunt while on the run – in which case pump those babies up, slap on some lip gloss, and get out there!

Next up : The Strappy

I love this bra, and not just because I came to it with skepticism and low expectations. It’s simple in construction (no padding or hardware) yet eye-catching in design, and just does its dang job. The dual straps (although thin) offer extra support, there’s good compression, and the unique look will break up your standard racerback tan line.

Already Strappy has done easy runs, mid-distance tempos, beach stretching, brunch biking, held up to duffy boat turbulence, laid through a lazy Sunday (yes all of these are important wear-test measurements), and came out of the wash looking good. A+ on run and lifestyle performance.

I tried a medium and a small, and preferred the additional squeeze of the small. IMO I’d recommend this up to a C-cup, but probably not much higher. Unless you’re carrying around some jiggle-less biggens somehow in which case I hate you.

(not tested) : The Lesko

in fact that IS the Lesko of “Lesko Bra” – Sarah Lesko in her namesake at the Totally Trials fashion show (from Oiselle’s fb)

Super excited to get my hands boobs on in this one. The most supportive of the bunch and also I have a girl crush on Lesko so… Yeah. Order will be placed immediately.

Overall Verdict : Sally, you done good, and I happily retract my itty bitty skepticism. (Please apologize to the other HQers for me.) You covered all the bases in both design and function, and have created something for pretty much everyone. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some old bras to figure out what to do with…

Get your tatas ready, ladies – less than 24 hours till Oiselle puts a bird on ’em…

Sarah OUaL