Weddings and Life, by Bud-fucious

My best friend got married this weekend in Ohio. In a barn. At the county fairgrounds. It was beautiful, not nearly as hillbilly as it sounds, and pretty much her Pinterest board come to life.

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I was talking to one of my best friend’s parents sometime between ceremony and dinner about how extra special it seemed to be a part of a wedding after having hosted your own. Like cheering for a marathon after having run one yourself. Knowing all of the hours of planning, worrying, and dreaming, mixed with months of appointments, envelope stuffing, guest list managing, DIY projects, cake tasting… all culminating into one final day. Planning a wedding might be slightly less physical work, but is definitely just as mentally challenging and time-consuming as training for a marathon.

And on the big day your feet probably hurt just the same.

Having that insider’s perspective, I watched Lauren extra closely all weekend to see if I could find anything going on under the surface that might need attention or that might just be extra heart-warming. (Sorry Lauren, if reading this makes you feel like a microspcoped lab bride.) I saw an ever-so-slightly nervous and overwhelmed version at venue set up; a distant and tunnel-visioned version at rehearsal; a so-filled-with-love-it’s-bursting-out-her-eyeballs version at breakfast; and a calm-before-the-storm anticipation as she got her makeup done. I prayed she wouldn’t notice the backed up line at the bar or find out the caterer forgot the vegetarian options. I watched her smile at her groom as they exchanged their vows like they were the only people in the room, and hug her guests with a genuine gratefulness that they were there to celebrate with them. I watched her laugh to tears on the dance floor late into the night and curse her dress while hovering over the toilet in a bathroom stall.

All things that are pretty standard, but on the other side of the wedding-planning veteran fence get magnified by a billion.

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eagerly waiting for her appearance down the aisle – imagining the last quiet moment her and her dad are having

Weddings are such a blur of loud white noise and nonstop chaos, and it can so easily fly by without hardly a chance to acknowledge the grandness of the day, let alone all the extra special little moments. It took this secondhand spectator experience to realize just how much I missed out on during my own.

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The things you risk missing : the sky clearing after a day of rain just in time, and the metaphysical horse head at the barn party

As I told this to my friend’s parents this – a little less eloquently as the beer was flowing pretty heavily by then – I realized something. A real philosophical “what is the meaning of life” moment right there in the bar line in that Corntown barn.

“It’s the same for life, huh? When you’re ‘OMG SO BUSY’ and everything is flying by a million miles an hour, you’re going to look back one day and realize you missed a killer party. Need to slow down and soak in those little moments, man.”

“You’ve been in California too long, sweetie.”

Maybe. But whether we’re talking about weddings, marathons, or life, you know it’s about enjoying the journey, not just crossing the finish line.

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Sarah OUaL

*wrote this on my tablet, sorry if the format is wonky or spellcheck furloughed.

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10 thoughts on “Weddings and Life, by Bud-fucious

  1. You’ll think this nuts dear but the Lauren’s wedding piece added to the NACS by God integrity added to 20 plus years of Sarahness for me. Confirms what I’ve known even before the wock talk. Sarah Elizabeth Conklin is an incredibly well made and wise human being. An always more to be opened daily gift for your gran Emily. Thank you always.

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  2. You are so sweet. Love this post, but not as much as I love you! Thanks for sharing in my special day with me! :) & You are SO RIGHT about my feet hurting!!!! :)

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  3. Love this. I can’t wait for my wedding to come together, and the best advice i’ve been hearing, seeing, reading is to take in the small moments & to plan a simple wedding so you can enjoy the day and people who came to celebrate with you. and the beer. I think we’re going to buy a TON of 3 Floyds for our reception haha.

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  4. So true. Weddings are just different after you’ve been through the whole thing yourself, and I think you’re just more sensitive to different things after the experience. (I now loathe day-of no-shows even more.) That bridesmaid dress and boots worked out well for you. (What happened to the orange Target cardigan?) Also, it is impossible to fault a bridal party with a dog in it. (Where is its cardigan?) :)

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  5. Rad post. Spot on. Sounds like it was pretty awesome and I love the bridesmaid dresses with the boots. She did it the way she wanted, not the way the magazines told her to do it, and it sounds like she had a great time. Also cool that you had a good life/perspective experience. :)

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