2013 : The Year of Nothing, and Everything

I’m not totally sure yet how to fill in “the year of ___” that so many people like to do around here, all I know is I’m pretty damn sure I’ll look back on these twelve months as some pretty life-shifting (changing seems too dramatic) times.

endoftheyear1

if you’re not a trained art afficionado, the symbolism here is girl paddling up-river towards the rocks while on a three-week vagabond cross-country adventure with her life waiting in limbo back at her SoCal almost-beachfront home. the hardship, the uncertainty, the dramatics… a true depression-era piece.

After parting from my lifeless career in corporate America in May, I began searching for a life more meaningful and less eye-gaugey. Preferably one that paid well, but that was negotiable (so long as I could still afford nice beer and running shoes.) It was totally unlike my Type A planner, itinerary-loving self to fly off the radar and haphazardly wander for as long as I did, but I kept the faith that eventually I’d steer myself in the direction I was “meant” to go. Or at least somewhere away from food stamps.

As of December 31st, I think that journey is still taking place. Funny how the end of a year seems so finite and “END SCENE!” but really it’s just another Tuesday, right? I’m flying a little lower to ground these days with a few gigs (that I major love, btw) pieced together, and have found myself in a semi-comfortable little spot. I’m sure things will shift and change and who knows, maybe get flipped completely upside down again and put me back on my ass, but after my summer of wild soul-searching I feel grounded enough now to bear those surprise turns.

I’ve learned that there really is happiness out there for everyone, but you have to work to find it, and then work harder to keep it. No one is entitled to anything more than they put the effort out for, and it’s that notion that keeps me searching to find just exactly what I want to do when I grow up. More writing? Less writing? More/less internet? More/less running? Something completely different? Babies???

(probably not yet, sorry Dad B)

So I guess what I’m saying is, 2013 might not have been the “year of” anything real, or concrete, or momentous, but I definitely think it reset my life compass in a direction I’ll be happy to be heading. Even if it isn’t the most direct route.

endoftheyear

up? hopefully. get ready, glutes.

And seguing into the new tat you may’ve seen on Instagram, because it is actually believe it or not related…

tattoobirdscollarbone

that’s not a “oh shit what have I done?” face, it’s a “Which Wich just called my name hurry up and take the pic so I can get my sandwich!”

After living so much of my life “by the book” and following a universal path I felt was outdated and suffocating, my career-leaving, soul-searching mission was based around the notion to think more with my heart, and less with my head. Now sometimes that lead to Hulu marathons and ice cream for dinner, which DID make me happy, but isn’t really a life I’d be proud of. Or be able to pay the bills with.

But in that space (the heart>head, not hulu+ice cream) I finally realized that life isn’t a math problem – there are no formulas or equations to give you the right answer for what you’re looking for. It’s about doing what FEELS right, in the fullest sense of the term, and being the best you possible. For yourself and the people you care about around you.

So the semblance of the destination-less birds in flight is to fly free and wild, equally guided by head and heart, and see where it takes me. There CAN be balance in my split Type A + Hippie personality.

In 2014, I plan to find it.

Sarah OUaL

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28 thoughts on “2013 : The Year of Nothing, and Everything

  1. I can relate to this so much. For me, this year was all about letting go of “what I was supposed to do” and embracing what I want to do. I still have a long way to go but I am on my way to being more confident in my decisions and going in the direction I want :)

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  2. I can relate to this post so much! I lost my job this year which wasn’t in the plans but to say I was miserable at the job would be an understatement. While I would give anything to still have my job and have that income I am trying to find myself this year to. To find what is meaningful in life – and find enjoyment through it all! That is my goal.

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  3. I love this post. I love your year. I LOVE your tattoo. I love it all! This year was seriously monumental for you whether you want to admit or not, lady! Quitting your job and doing your own thing is HUGE. I quit my job too, so I know how crazy it is. I am hoping for great things in 2014 for you and for me. :)

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  4. I’m very type-A too and reading your summary of everything feels so eye opening…. this post reminds me of all the romantics in the movies, just your in real life, kind of.

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  5. Love, Love, Love! And also as a 36 year old mom of two girls, working in the same job/place for 15 years……Jealous, Jealous, Jealous! Cheers to the new year!!

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  6. I love this so much too — and totally resonates with me. I’d been miserable in my last job for two years in Georgia, and after nearly a year of job searching, found one back home in So Cal. Now I’m adjusting with balancing a personal life (that I have for the first time in two years), new work schedule and running.

    Here’s to hoping your 2014 is everything you need, want, and hope it will be!

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  7. Love this post, Sarah – honest and inspiring. Excited to see where 2014 takes you and hopeful we cross paths along the way! Fly joyfully :)

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  8. love this…my post was somewhat similar. 2013 was eye-opening for me. love the “reset the life compass” because I do think your year really did…you made some big changes, took leaps of faith and they all seem to be worth it. xoxo

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