I already have a post with that title but I don’t care because I think it’s catchy, it’s an easy to read and write format, and it reminds me of my (once almost obsessive) girl crush Chelsea Handler.
That time my sister, Lauren, and I met Chuy at the Chelsea Lately taping. Visitors to Casa de OUaL get only the top-tier star treatment, you know.
So anyway, here’s what’s been going on in my world.
Jinx, You Cocky “Never Get Sick” Motherfucker
For like a week I battled this tickle-the-back-of-your-throat-until-your-eyes-well-up-and-you-finally-dry-hack-to-make-it-stop cough that just would not quit. During that time I claimed with all the conviction in the world I wasn’t sick, “it’s just a tickle thing” and slept on the couch because oops Brian wakes to nonstop night coughs easier than I do. The day it finally eased up I went to bed early, so eager for a full night of sleep for the first time in like, 9 days. I woke up at 3am barfing my brains out with food poisoning. Oh and Brian was out of town. Being miserable and whiny without anyone to acknowledge your pity party in person sucks. Almost as much as trying to walk the dogs when you can’t keep bodily fluids where they belong. All that aside, the worst part is that I must’ve given it to myself since I hadn’t eaten out the days prior, and can’t pinpoint the culprit. I’ve been living in fear of eggs, romaine, peanuts, tomatoes, yogurt, bottled water, clementines, and canned tuna since.
nurse dogs, or “seriously woman when can we go outside for more than 60 seconds at a time?” dogs?
Feeling Better? Ok Good [CRAAAAAASH]
This Monday, I finally woke feeling healed of all my cough, faucet nose, and food-scorned insides, and jumped out of bed before my alarm ready to conquer the world. Nothing, I repeat NOTHING, makes life more rosy than spending extended periods of time laid up in bed against your will. I skipped off to my chiropractor for some more body work and let him go to absolute torture town on my hamstring, after which he gave me a gold star for both pain tolerance and injury progression. I’m down to as-needed visits instead of every-other-day, and am feeling loads better. I left the office so cheery (uncharacteristically and obnoxiously, I should add) that I wasn’t even dreading my next stop – the dentist. I got in my car, a head-bobby singalong song came on and I rolled the windows down to let the outside world contagion my good mood, when BAM!
if you know me, the idea of me having a smily sunshine license plate is probably too much hilarity too handle
Hey guys, did you know you have to wait for oncoming traffic to clear before you can make a u-turn? This guy didn’t.
No one was hurt and the damage was minor luckily – no, not luckily, it was all minor because I was able to slam on my brakes from 40mph to almost a complete stop and steer away from a direct collision because I pay attention to the road and know how to drive a damn car. I knew it was only a matter of time and odds before one of the idiotic drivers plaguing our streets took me as a victim, and I guess I should at least be grateful he had insurance. Anyway, it still sucks to deal with. Plus the asshole totally took the sunshine and rainbows out of my happy sail. And he didn’t even say sorry.
One of my favorite parts of mine and Emily’s drive across the country last summer was the hunt for places to run. Spotting a trail or bike path from the road, pulling over, lacing up, and starting the watch before a second thought even clicked. Endlessly scouring Google Maps for a green blob with enough little trail lines to log a few miles. Running right-hand laps around a hospital in Rapid City because it seemed the only “safe” place during Sturgis.
Those runs – even though they may have been painful, boring, or uneventful – I’ll remember forever. The adventure added so much more than the miles in my training log.
I’m trying to instill a little more of that adventure into my runs now. Sure, sometimes they’re a bust and I end up driving to the gym when a spontaneous route ends up super sketchy or non-existent, but sometimes they’re just what the burnout doctor ordered.
this IG comment was intended to be about life in general, but the literal application is too much to deny
Lesson learned: Always keep a sports bra and running shoes in your car. You never know when a pretty little trail might reel you away from your plans.