‘Run to Beer’ (a skit)

SET SCENE: 6pm, Sarah on couch scarfing down “dinner” (eggs and tortilla chips), Brian leaving for softball.

B: “We’ll probably get to the bar around 8 – see you then?”

S: “Yeah, I’m gonna let this digest a bit then head to the gym across the street for elliptical’ing. I’ll walk over and meet you guys.”


S: [pulls half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s from freezer]


S: ‘alright stomach, you’ve got 15 minutes to digest, then we’ve gotta go to the gym. sorry for the cramps in advance’


S: [dozes off in a post-ice cream nap]


S: ‘fuck! I’d only have 20 minutes of gym time if I left right this second. Is it worth it? The elliptical sounds awful, anyway. Impromptu rest day…?’

[google maps (that’s a verb now) distance to bar]

[laces up, sticks ID in tights pocket, takes off without thinking twice or considering dairy-churning stomach]


B: “Geez, you literally just came over from the gym, huh?”

friend: (looking at sweaty head) “Is it raining??”

S: “I RAN HERE! EVERYONE, I RAN ALL THE WAY HERE. 5.4 MILES – FURTHEST SINCE RAGNAR! BARTENDER, BRING ME A DRINK! And a giant glass of water and some paper towels, please.”


B: “Are you running home?”

Not sure I’m willing to test it, but I’m thinking running on a belly full of beer isn’t that much worse than a belly full of ice cream.

Sarah OUaL

7 thoughts on “‘Run to Beer’ (a skit)

  1. ooh you have to share what your favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry’s. We recently tried that Karma Caramel Core and it was amazing..it did last us about 3 weeks..that is because I forgot it was in there



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