Yet Another Holiday Gift Guide for Runners You Probably Don’t Need to Read!

*this post brought to you via the Hemmingway school of writing.*

**this post also originally intended to be brought to you via HSoW 2-3 days ago. the blogworld doesn’t go on holiday sabbatical, but oual does because oual is not a proper blogger, and had a hell of a time cleaning up the drunk mess Hemmingway inspired before this was publishable.**

I really wasn’t going to do this.

It’s almost too late for it now anyway, but maybe you’re at home still immobile after Turkey Gorge Fest 2013 looking for entertainment, on a rest break during battlestar galactica’ing Black Friday, or are staring at your shopping list with befuddled helplessness wondering what the heck to get so-and-so or tell your relatives you “really want” this year. Regardless, I’m sure of you still have some shopping to do. If not, you’re an overachieving asshole please keep your smug comments to yourself.

So in case you’ve missed the 10,000 other blog posts from the internet…

I’d hate myself for being so cliché but I’ve already invested too much time in this and the cheapwad in me just doesn’t throw shit away like that. Mold on your bread? Scrape it off. Yes, yes I WILL continue to squeeze this toothpaste tube until every last ounce is expelled and fulfilling its plaque-fighting duty I paid it to do.

Cheap > cliché. (as in, that’s what I am. if we’re talking level of importance flip pacman around)

Plus, this is some damn fine product I’ve curated here. All things I either have, love, and believe everyone else will too, or want for myself. Also I love the word “curate” because it makes me feel like I’m bringing Mona Lisas and Picassos and culture to you instead of

*edited drunk blabbling about materialism + not going home for holiday*

…

…tried to pick some unique items, for ALL types of runners, with items from all price points! So find the best match for your girlfriend/sister/pal and check someone off your shopping list. Or add these to your own. No harm in some late additions.

full collection +more on the pinterest board, because we all have to use that extra X chromosome somehow

The In-Season, PeakTraining, Enduro Junkie Runner

I’d use a heart rate monitor a lot more if I didn’t have to deal with that god-forsaken chest strap. It chafes and sucks. Something that doesn’t chafe or suck? These tech fabric runner undies from Oiselle. I thought the price was steep at first (hi $5 at target) but they’re actually right in the middle of the technical underthings spectrum. Did you know that’s a thing? It is. Lastly, restock their fuel stash. A stocking full of gels, picky bars, nuun, and their favorite peanut/almond/seed butter is a lot more race-weight friendly (albeit less fun) than candy. (ok maybe throw some candy in there too – they’ve earned the calories)

• Strapless Heart Rate Monitor Watch by Mio $199
• Randies 3-pack by Oiselle (true to size, if between go down) $48
• Runner Fuels (good idea to check what they like first) $1.25-12.50

*Consolation Runner-Up that actually deserves to be on top of the list – massage gift certificate. Bonus points if you choose a place with sport-specific options. Ask if they’re good with runners (they’ll know what you mean if they are)

The New Runner

You’ve got fresh meat on your hands – now to find the perfect gift that will excite them about running but not give away how freaking weird we all are. Unless they’re treadmilll-exclusive (barf), a basic GPS watch will bring them miles and miles of trackable fun. The best investment a new runner can make is a pair of properly-fitted running shoes – find a store nearby that does gait + foot analysis and hook them up with a gift card (do NOT try to pick them out yourself!). Magazine subscriptions are the quintessential gift-that-keeps-on-giving – plus oodles of info and inspiration to eat up each month.

• Forerunner 10 GPS watch by Garmin $129.99
• Gift card to local running shop $50-100
• Running Times or Runner’s World subscription $15/$17

The Yogi Runner

Got a runner friend that plays for the the om’y spiritual team, too? Give that switch-hitting Yogi Runner a certificate to her favorite studio, or one near her house if she doesn’t already have one. I’m dying for this amazing “here for the savasana” sweatshirt, and love these grippy toe socks. Make it a true multi-‘sport’ gift with a pair of no-show lightweight run socks, too. Love those little toe huggers.

• Yoga class certificate (check studio’s pricing) $50-100
• I’m Here for the Savasana Sweatshirt by Spiritual Gangster $60
• Yoga toe socks by Injinji $8

The Non-Runner Friend

Maybe you’re the runner, gifting to someone you wish would run, or who’s been your non-runner running supporter forever? Well, the easiest way to con them into it – register them for a race! (you have to do it, too.) Train with them and guilt-trip them into not wasting their gift from you until they love it. (this is an un-proven method but tequila sarah thinks it’s a good idea. like throwing a kid in the pool to teach them to swim.) If they’re a no-go on the run-with-you front, get them a shirt that’s sure to get some laughs from the sidelines, or a “that’s so true! why does nobody talk about that!?” book on the ugly beginning phases of running.

• Race registration (5k or less, probably) $35ish
• Sloth Running Team shirt from Fancy $30
• Running Like a Girl by Alexandra Heminsley $10-15

Budget-Friendlies that Might Actually Be Better Than Things You Can Buy

Pocketbook a little tight, or you’ve agreed on “no gifts” this year? No problemo. You can still show your runner the holiday love they deserve without re-financing your mortgage! It’s proven that stuff without a nutrition label tastes the best, so whip up a batch of homemade energy bars for them (be mindful of any weird allergies or something.) Channel your inner pre-teen and cover a spiral-bound notebook with inspirational quotes, goal race logos, JTT pics, etc to make a training journal, and write a note to them on the inside. Lastly, most invaluable and better than anything else on this whole damn list – offer to race crew. Start line chauffeur, course cheerleading, waiting with dry clothes and booze/food at the finish <— worth one billion penny banks and all the ribbons and bows in Santa’s workshop.

• Six Homemade Energy Bars from BeWellPhilly
• [you don’t really need a link for a notebook, do you?]
• $posterboard $cowbell $coffee $parking $half your saturday/sunday

And if my Oiselle Team Secret Santa is reading this, those PB Pretzel bars sound amazing. Feel free to triple the chocolate chips.

• What’s on your Runner Wish List? A new PR? Healthy legs? Energy gel that doesn’t make you want to vom? Rogas in bright green? (…shhhhh…)

Sarah OUaL

* Appendix: Some post-Turkey deals: Oiselle (no code – 20% off $150+, 25% off $250+, free s/h), Picky Bars (PICKY30 – 30% off), Fancy (referral link) (BLACKFRI – 30% off + free s/h), Nuun ($20 packs, free s/h), Believe I Am (50% off select styles, gift with purchase)